I WONT SAY IM BACK

After some serious cleaning up the cobwebs and going back and forth about whether i actually what to do this I'm finally writing this, well it was a ' Heads-i-win-tails-you-lose' kinda thingy; how i could hold out till i started typing this post ( 13 hours 25 minutes).
So its been 17 months since my last post, *sigh* feels just like yesterday; actually it doesnt, it feels exactly that long: 17 months!! In fact as I'm writing this I'm not even sure I'll remember how to publish this.

       Well today's my birthday *tiny drum roll* lol I'm nineteen today, its been a crazy life so far with a lot more promises for the future. Don't really know what i want to write or rather i want to write so much that if i do you'll definitely not finish reading this; that's if you're there at all 17 months is quite a while so i wont b surprised if there's no one to read this. well I'm not going to jinx myself like to rappers who after a long break say "I'm back" and then after maybe one or two hits evaporate forever. But im gon try to post after this and after that too. Ok i guess that's it, hope your life's been good (I'm still assuming you are there) peace.......x

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/IsaiahVaris

20th and stranges

This is my 20th post (sound of applause, whistling, more applause) oh thank you thank you,youre far too kind lal.
Sup peps hws y'all doin? Hope say you dey on your chilin lal. On facebook the other day Friends Exposed asked one o' ma friends 'What is the strangest thing Isaiah Varis has ever done?' and her reply was 'ah many things' lal well i have done some strange things in my little lifetime sha lal some funny,some disgusting,some weird,some just plain stupid and some a combo of 2 or more of d above. I can still recall a few like the time in js1 when i would by a roll of mentos for 25bucks and ill get to school and sell it for 5naira.......for one piece,and there were 14 pieces in a roll i really cant remember how it started or how my classmates where stupid enough to continue buying but i know it ended when one girl begged me to give her some sweet n i refused then she when to report me to our class teacher and my mentos dealing went bust lal but believe me when i say i made some fucking stupid money dat more than satisfied all my 10year old needs lmao.
Then was the time me,along with the like 20 or so other boys in class would wait behind after school every single day to quave Nike AT THE SAME TIME and she so did enjoy it,i dont think any school day went by when we dint quave her,twas a very horny 1 and half years o' my life and we where all s'posed to be innocent 12 year olds. I did feel a little sorry 4 her after junior waec cos then no one wanted to quave her again n she had hardly even entered puberty and her boods were already droopy God 4give me lal but i did see her sometime last year n she dint look so bad,i think her boobs musta recovered oer the years lal i still cant believe i was a part o' dat.
Then there was SS1 when errybody was so preoccupied with the fact that we were now seniors,we were wearing trousers no more shorts we could send juniors to kiosk we had more free time yayyy we were now bad guys most people forgot that senior school was a different ball game entirely 1st term exams came,with some maaaasive failures everywhere but me i passed very well sha and i was the kinda person hu dint look left or ryt during papers some peps now begged me 2 allow dem sit beside me and copy me during exams and they would pay me and you can be sure i accepted; i would just do my stuff and go submit when i was through whether they where able to finish dubbing or not cos of course i collected the cash before the paper. The funniest times where when after the exam started the invigilator would now reshuffle the class and i woulda already collected my cash lmao.
All through secondary school i was always doing funny stuff and playing pranks but there was this prank that was...just out of this world; twas after school one day in SS3,someone brought don simeon to school i dont drink so i just watched as they shared the drink. When it finished someone now placed it on the slab we were sitting in a way that made it look like there was still some in it,me i now carried it and peed in it. We all just laughed at the idea but it was so hot we dint actually believe anyone was gonna fall for it. I just dropped it somewhere by the side sha and continued gisting,then one guy now came
guy: aah abeg who get shacks make i take small
som1 among us: drop my shacks jo
guy:abeg abeg
som1 among us: take small o
guy: thanks mehn
and it all seemed to happen in slow motion,he picked it up and raised it above his head(of course he greedily wanted to take as big a gulp as possible;he probably woulda smelt it if he had tried to sip it),tilted it,poured it down his throat,swallowed and then smacked his lips yes smacked his lips i can never 4get dat part and then for like 3 freakishly eerie seconds errything was silent then he went"please tell me that was not piss". Then erryone bust into laughter,me i ran away o! Lmao i could beat the guy on a normal day but i wasnt about to find out wat someone who just drank your piss could do to you lal that has to by far be the worse ever lal
The other day one girl in school referred to me as 'dat guy with the hexagonal head' in my absence of course,twas quite funny sha,just that the joke was on me lal
mehn i cant believe ive been writing this for more than12 hours! Well not exactly sha twas 12 hours cummulative and like 2 and a half actual hours. Decided to blog with my phone and mehn i think ive grown biceps in my thumbs and number 7 on my keypad actually cracked lal if this post doesnt update il just kill myself lal nyhows sha hope yall have a chilin weekend and i meant dat literarily cos mehn this sun can like to stop tryin to make me blacker than i already am lal
chelsea lost woohoo!
Naruto and sasuke meet at last yata!
Now is the time for crossing my fingers,hope this actually updates
...............xoxo

What i want

I wanna have game, yet i dont wanna play ball
I want no looking after yet i want someone to catch me when i fall
I want not to be able to hurt any yet i heed to power's call
I want the best for my friends, yet i wanna be the best of them all
I wish none had to pay for anything, yet i wish i owned a shopping mall
I want not to be 'that big guy' yet i dont want to be small
I want to be a great christian yet i want not to be like St. Paul
I wanna lie down forever yet i wanna remain standing tall
I love being in college yet i greatly detest the lecture hall
I wish no one was lord over another yet i wish i had someone at my beck and call
I wish to make this very long yet i dont want it to become dull...................
I want it all yet i dont want to want at all

*sigh* people its been a while, really miss this place and mehn.......well lemme just put it in iphyigbogurl's words

I am beginning to lose my bloggin mojo... :(


I want it back!!!!

school is a winsh!!!
lal but seriously school is soooooooooo 'i-dont-even-know-the-word-to-use' right now
*sigh* i cut my hair again and the funniest and most  annoying part is that twas not even my mother who made me cut it,twas one stupid lab attendant that insisted i cut my hair or else i might as well forget about my practicals which is like 30% of my course G.P. mscheew i now still had to buy her a bottle of coke to submit my lab report; all these depressed adults that are just bent on frustrating people *sigh* newaiz 'she cant tie me down' lal
Valentine's day..................nothing nada zilch nothing at all happened
Mehn i dont remember ever being this broke in my life,.dont think i have ever anticipated the beginning  a new month so much in my life lal money's such a good thing
Thank God for opera mini, stuffs done me a whole lot of good
okay folks thats all for now like someone i know would say hope say una dey on your chillin
peace..........xoxo
yeah i just discovered i most creative when im jobless hope that aint weird

When hell freezes over..................

ROTFLMAO!!! saw this and thought ill'd share it with you guys


WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
shared
it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as
well...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic(absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan
during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before
I
sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true,
and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

THE STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" GIVEN.


Alright peps hope you guys is all balling good and having fun and hope you not as stressed as i am
*sigh* no one told me that second year was gonna be so fucking stressful
peace.............x

Funnyhoneymoney

Who knows if jay-z could take a girl to the pub?
Don't matter now,he's married to the queen of hip-hop

Vida guerra,ass took her to the top,
Actually 'twas who the ass was on top

Before kingston was getting the dump,
Now he got cash and he make her 'face drop'

50 was no cash,nine bullets,almost a corpse,
Now he's all cash,mad rolex and humping Vivi Fox

Biggie was little when he first came in the game,
then he got fame and a lady with a little in her name

Ray-j couldnt get into the Playboy Mansion,
Now he gets to 'meet with the Kardashian'

Chris Brown was just an ordinary lad,
Got some money and there was a 'good girl gone bad'

A 'short blackk boy' dating a nice girl is incredible,
well....not if you are Mr. Incredible

Tuface was the one who used to chase the ladies'
but now they chasing him with promises of babies

Even though Micheal Jackson aint no more got a life,
there,s still many a lady who wanna be his wife

You from kenya? well go to hell,
they wouldnt say that if you were the husband of Michelle

A friend said...............mo' money mo' problems
buh money aint gonna be a problem

See its funny,
mo' money... mo' honey
mo' dough to blow...mo' hoes
and dats the way it goes

*sigh*

                *sigh* i shouldnt be here, no really i shouldnt. Im supposed to be researching(hmm now thats such a good word to use,it makes me seem so serious) on the history of thermodynamics and im here but what the hell ive still got time so...........lal.
                 After seeing that i need to research blah blah you would think school has started in earnest and all but throughout this week i could count all the lectures i had on the palm of one hand, for someone as lazy as me to be complaining you should know how bad it is. *sigh* can you imagine that i forgot the national pledge? as in seriously for like two hours i was trying to remember to no avail and i finally had to ask a friend of mine who remembered the other half that i had forgotten and together we were able to piece it all up lal.
              *sigh* ive tried and tried and tried, and i think its time i admitted defeat;twitter just refuses to make any sense to me at all as in seriously you just seat down and write rubbish and reply rubbish upon rubbish.
              *sigh* haiti my heart really goes out to all those peps;just waking up one morning having no idea whats to befall you and then rumble rumble bang you are dead. Some didnt even have time to set themselves right with God,just thinking what if it was naija.........*sigh* Lord if in anyway ive knowingly or unknowingly sinned against please have mercy on me(AMEN).
             *sigh* from all my sighings you can deduce that im not really in my element but im sure itll pass newaiz i was on someone's blog the other day and the music player was annoying me and i was thinking if thats the same way mine does especially considering that my music taste aint what you call common lol so i think instead ill add a video to each o' my posts and its up to you to listen to the song or not ,not like the music player.
     this is In The Beginning by Knaan, love this song and it really makes sense



 yeah for those of you abroad just thought to let ya know that its agbaolumo(is that the right spelling?) season right now in naija
ok i think i better get back to my 'research', dont wanna flunk first assignment of the year .........................xoxo

mscheew see me i forgot to name the post *sigh* i seem to be losing my 'naming a post' inspirations, see how boring my titles are becoming lal

#2009?! YEAH 2009

 *sigh* yes i know i know i should have done this an infinity ago but well one thing always led to another and i never quite got the chance but im still gonna do it all the same; a round up o' 2009 that is.

FRIENDS
 Ok i went to the UNILAG secondary school, so entering uni i already had my friends around me cos most peps from sec ended up in UNILAG and that kinda made me a lil anti-social for like the first quarter of the year, but was able to discover this in time and rectified it. Made quite a number of friends sha, and a whole lot of acquaintances.

BEARDS
I grew like six,seven strands of beard in 2009. Its not really something im freaked about but i had this friend who had two strands and was totally freaked about them, he even gave them names!! So its was fun to tease him when i got more beards than him especially when ben(that was the name of the male beard, the other was called esmeralda) cut. Buh sometimes seeing those scraggly little things scattered round my chin was kinda annoying and i of course i couldnt cut them cos that woulda been like i was insulting nature;shaving before i even had a full beard who knows they just might never have grown again lal.

FOOD
Forget what youve heard and forget what youve seen in adverts; children are not the major consumers of noodles in nigeria, believe me its university students or at least UNILAG students. The amount of indomie i ate last year is more than the amount ive eaten in my entire life and im not exaggerating. Cos  for me apart from being relatively cheap it was easy to prepare and its not always one would have the strength to cook proper food or the time either, and some people are just pests, they would never come to your room except when they smelt something was cooking then they would show their stupid smiling faces expeting of course to be fed. And also twas not always one could go to a restaurant to buy food.

PORN
*Sigh* although im ashamed to say it,just like indomie the amount of porn i watched last year is more than in my entire life. Almost everywhere in hostel there was porn; there was hardly any room that didnt have at least one phone or one PC that had porn on it and there's just how long your defenses can stand  when there's so much trash and hormones are acting up so once in a while curiousity would kill the cat....................and the cat had nine lives.

GROWTH
Surprisingly, i was the only one of my friends who moved into hostel and gained weight, maybe its cos apart from indomie i actually used to cook(im quite a good cook, so long its nothing that has 'soup' at the end of its name) and so i always ate 3 complete meals a day. I also grew a lot in 2009, musta gone 3,4 inches from january to december. And when i told my friend i wanted to start gymming he was like "as big as you are, you want everybody to start fearing you abi?" Stupid me listened to him and lost like 3 months worth of exercising.

ACADEMICS
As lazy as i was in 2009, i still managed to get a 1st class G.P in my exams; there was this girl who was very very very extremely very serious. She was always in the front row in class, even in subjects that didnt contribute to our G.P. ,even in sujects where the lecturer had never come before she would be thee, first to finish assignments and sutff and she was always reading one big textbook or the other some o' which i didnt even know thier names and at the end o' the day we had the same G.P.,i kinda felt sorry for her.But this year no one's gotta tell me that goodluck and good brains alone aint gon' get me nowhere. Ive already got me timetable and a few materials and im going to buy me textbooks soon;at this time last year i was watching naruto and playing PSP.

LOVE
*sigh* love...................love was non-existenet in 2009, well not really let me explain: there was this girl that liked me, she still likes me up till now, i also liked this girl;only the 'this girl' that i liked was a different person from the 'this girl' that liked me. I knew i could never like the other 'this girl' so she wasnt really in the picture. So me and 'this girl' had been talking and getting along so i was at the stage were im thinking that i do like this girl and whether i actually wanted her to be my girlfriendor not whilst we was getting closer and just as i decided this was for real and i was gonna take a shot at it she one day tells me she has gotten admission in one school in jand and so she'll be leaving lag and that was the end of something i would never know if could have even started, i  mean it would have been better if i had asked her and she declined but not that.

PRANKS
I gained quite the reputation for being a prankster; it just naturally happened that at any given point in time i was always doing some' mischievous. It was so mush that when i finally told 'this girl' that i had something for her when she was in lasgidi(i did still like her at the time) she thought i was joking or something imagine!

              mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................there's a few other things sha like my increased self awareness and my discovery of how important cash is and some others my fingers have started giving me the signs so i think im gonna stop here.
nuff love.........x

My new year resolution

This is my new year resolution,
I’ll give my spiritual life more attention,
The word of God more devotion,
Reduce procrastination,
Doing things when they should without hesitation,
In my studies I aim for distinction,
All my laziness going to extinction,
Open my ears to correction,
And try to change every negation,
Speak truth in all I mention,
And for every wrongdoing make restitution,
Carry on with my black passion,
And get rid of that obsession,
Bring all I start to completion,
No party addiction,
But once in a while a little gyration,
Everyday some body exertion,
New skill acquisition,
And some others I forget to mention,
Positive manifestation,
In every area, every section,
Every moment a progression,
Inching closer to perfection,
And ultimate satisfaction.
Happy new year to y’all, may this year be the first of the best of your life so far……………….x

Boys and girls

               Merry christmas to y'all; yeah i know its late and its not really heartfelt but courtesy demands it so merry christmas to y'all. My christmas was practically non-existent cos i spent it in camp. Now i think of it most of thr christmases of my life have been spent in camp,a handful in the village and even less at home so im not relly a christmas person.
            Okay so this christmas all my christmas texts and posts on facebook were either to or from gals,not one of my male friends sent any merry christmas and neither did i send to any guy. So i got to thinking why is it that somethings that girls do,somethings that are done to girls by girls and somethings that are done to girls by guys dont seem right when a boy does them or when done to a boy by another boy? For example, its alright for girls to get all mush mush,play with themselves,tap each others asses in public,sometimes even kiss themselves and take nude pics o' each other and there's no big deal bout it but put guys in those scenarios..............yeah i know what you thinking and yeah its exactly the same thing im thinking: guys getting all mush mush,tapping their asses,kissing themselves.......G-A-Y!! thats what it screams.Girls can do does things without necessarily being thought of as gay but if a guy does them he's gay,end of story.
       Also speaking of gay people its more acceptable to be a female homo and be gay than to be a male homo. I for one absolutely hate gay guys and i know most guys feel the same way too, but i know straight girls who dont really mind girls that are gay,some guys even fantasize bout having sex with lesbians. You see they even get to have a special name 'lesbians' while the guys just get to be plain gay.
      Girls show more love to girls than guys show to guys,girls show more love to guys than guys show to guys,guys show more love to girls than guys show to guys!! The way i see the world is more open-minded in some areas to girls than to guys. Im not complaining, cos i sure as hell am never gonna roll with a guy again if he one day walks up to me and tap my ass or tells me he loves me but then i just womder why its so.
      Then again i wonder,why are girls who supposedly sleep around looked down upon by society and not the other way round? i mean its not like they sleeping with themselves o,what bout the guys who sleep with them? Even in the bible a woman gets preggers and she's to be stoned to death and im wondering where the hell is the father of the child? Erryone's quick to condemn a new bride if on the night of her wedding her husband finds out she's not a virgin but no one can tell how many times the guy has had sex before,he mighta even done some serious stuffings the night before his wedding but who knows?Somethings are just the way they are,but still you wonder.
         Im outta here, enjoy the rest o' your 2009 and use it ta do some you aint done through out da year,someone said he planned to do all the bad things he couldnt do throughout the year this last week lol and yeah this is the first full decade of my life................xoxo

!$@!@h v@r!$
Lleft Han-ded Geenius
Mr.funnyhoneymoney